wavyarms | (no subject)

I write letters! Also, a Crusty Curmudgie McCrankypants credo about FAT.

I was just going to post this letter I wrote to Whole Foods, but it occurs to me that this is an opportune time to explicate certain of my beliefs, and also give fair warning. SO. Here are some things I believe about fat and health. Letter follows.

1.) Fat is not a moral issue. You are not a good person if you are healthy. You are not a bad person if you are sick. You are also not a morally superior person if you engage in actions designed to improve your own health, and you are not a morally inferior person if you never floss and then you get heart disease. We all have only so many resources, and you get to choose how to spend them. Repeat: not a moral issue. [EDITED TO ADD: I meant to say Health is not a moral issue, which is broader, but of course I also believe that fat is not a moral issue.]

2.) You cannot tell how healthy someone is by looking at them. A slender person could be disabled in some way; a fat person could be an Olympian.

3.) Fat people are not automatically unhealthy.

4.) Dieting does not work. [EDITED TO ADD: I also do not believe that calories in equals calories out.] I believe that our natural weights vary as much (if not more) than our natural heights, and we don't have a lot of control over that. (I do believe in HAES and intuitive eating.)

5.) Dieting and calorie restriction are, on top of not working, unhealthy behaviors. (However, since healthy is not a moral issue, it is None Of My Business if you choose to engage in these behaviors. I assume other people are more educated about what is best for themselves than I am, and although if you are a close friend I might tell you I think it's not healthy behavior, it is also my job to Back Off. I am not always great at this (see: tanning salons) but I believe it's what I ought to be doing.) I believe dieting and calorie restriction are unhealthy behaviors not only because of the studies about rapid weight loss and gain being a bad idea in the long run, but because having a relationship with your food that is primarily about how many calories it has, and how you should have less of it than you want is incredibly mentally damaging.

6.) Shame does not work. Even if #1-5 were not true, making people who are overweight feel bad about themselves is a rotten way to try to effect change.

7.) Exercise is great! I think it's a great thing, not only because your body feels better and it may increase longevity, but because it's so good for mental health. However, since health is not a moral issue, neither is exercise. Would you like to go on a morally-neutral hike with me?

What does this mean for you and your interactions with Crusty Curmudgie McCrankypants?

I don't want to hear about your diet. You need to find other support for that. I will not compliment you on losing weight, or commiserate with you about gaining weight. (I might say something like, "Well, do you feel better? OK, I'm glad to hear that.") Although it is very difficult in our society to clean up my language, I'm not really interested in talking about how evil certain foods are. And I am really, really, REALLY not interested in hearing people complain about how terrible it is that they weigh so much. (There is an added frustration when said people clearly weigh less than I do. Um, hello? I am right here, in all my solid glory.)

OK. That said, here is my letter to Whole Foods.

I have read that you discriminate against your employees based on weight. I understand you have a voluntary employee program that gives greater discounts to employees who weigh less (i.e. have lower BMI's.) I find this a horrendous policy, and will be boycotting your store until it is changed.

I am an advocate of Fat Acceptance, and believe that a person's weight is not a good indicator of their overall health. I am also strongly against discrimination against people who are fat. But even if I weren't, how does this policy make sense? If you think that people who are overweight are the ones who most need to be healthy, why would you give them the smallest discount to buy healthy foods? This policy is outrageous on many different levels. I look forward to a press release soon indicating that you have changed your policy, and will give an equal discount to all employees. (I have seen intelligent suggestions that people with a gym membership get a higher discount; or that the discount only apply to produce; but do not participate in the fat prejudice that has been sweeping this nation for far too long.)

Sincerely, wavyarms

Note that this letter was not perfect, b/c the "intelligent suggestions" I mention still reward people for certain behaviors that should be only their own business, and suggest that some food is GOOD and other food is BAD, but I find it hard to get this stuff right when swimming against the cultural stream.

[EDIT: This does not mean you cannot talk to me about weight or your body or ANYTHING. If you feel unhappy in your body because you feel it is too fat, or you are sick and are losing weight, or you feel unhappy with your body image for any other reason, that can be a huge thing, and I as your friend am happy to talk to you about it. But I want you to know the beliefs that will inform that conversation for me. I am going to do a lot more talking about how the patriarchy's narrow definitions of beauty and expectations of femininity are fucking us up than about how running is sooo much better than biking for weight-loss.]

Comments are open, but keep in mind that I have just told you what I believe, and I am a UU, so I expect respect.