(no subject)

[wavyarms]

In Spoleto. I think...I hope...I am back on track to feeling sane after a crazy year. However, our rehearsal schedule is insane, so I won't be on LJ much. I'm going to be posting about the festival at my "professional" blog over at Blogspot, so go say hello there if you're interested in what I'm doing this month. One warning - people who read that blog don't know about this blog, and I'd prefer to keep it that way. So any references to LJ, or to "another blog" that I have, will be deleted.

I am currently dealing with that old problem of feeling lots of pressure to be social, and not wanting to be social. I remember this first cropped up as early as middle school or high school...much of the time I would rather flop on my bed alone reading a book than hang out with a large group of people. For some reason I have a sort of deep-seated guilt about this, and I don't know where it came from. Maybe all those cultural signals that people are alone at the beginning of stories, and not alone at the end, and that's good. Also possibly the standard idea that if you don't want to hang out with someone, that must not mean you like them as much as you actually do.

It's just that I feel more miserly about time spent alone now than at possibly any other time in my life - after feeling pulled apart for the past so-many-months, the prospect of being alone and having time to spend is precious.

Comments

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

There's a lot of pressure in our culture to be extroverted. Some of us are introverts, at least some of the time. Honor that -- if your psyche is telling you that spending time alone is what you need in order to recharge, then do it! You've just come through a tremendously challenging academic program and you should do whatever will make you feel good.

[mixedborder.livejournal.com]

>much of the time I would rather flop on my bed alone reading a book than hang out with a large group of people.

Me too. Don't feel guilty about needing solitude. Honi soit qui mal y pense!

[chorusgirl19.livejournal.com]

Repeat after me: "No, thanks. I want to stay in tonight."




Very good.

[minyan.livejournal.com]

My sister (who can get picked up by walking into a fish hatchery, I swear) told me this year that she'd discovered that her time was precious — more precious than it had ever been — and she was getting more and more unwilling to share it unless she chose to, and with whom she chose to. She also said, if someone buys you a drink, there's nothing wrong with thanking them and walking out. No reason to let anyone else pressure you; mroe to the point maybe, no reason to pressure yourself.

I've been thinking about this too, after my HS reunion (an amusing anticlimax; I'll post on it soon) — in which I learned that I really would rather take a bath and plant black walnut trees. Hon, you have plenty plenty friends, and good ones; you have no shortage of social skills, socil talents and social life. And there's nothing wrong with liking your own company — you're better company than most ;-) Everyone needs time alone. Go ahead and revel. Good luck with the music, too.