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signal-boosting
Let's play "blame the aggressive girl!" again!
A blog entry at Feministing reports that the Washington Post reports that women who pursue men and express an interest in sex are helping to cause erectile dysfunction. Quote from the article:
"One can argue that a young woman speaking her mind is a sign of equality. "That's a good thing," says Sawyer, father of four daughters. "But for some guys, it has come at a price. It's turned into ED in men you normally wouldn't think would have ED.""
Never mind that the article doesn't actually produce any concrete evidence for this. It does report guys claiming to have had ED problems...right after a woman expressed interest in them and they ended up in bed! That can't be coincidence! Never mind that if a woman expresses disinterest in you, you're less likely to end up in bed in the first place. The article does report many other possible causes, such as binge drinking (on campus? no!), drug abuse, an environment where everyone is probably just getting more in college than they did 50 years ago (increasing the sample size) and less stigma about reporting ED. But are those the main contributing factors? No, no - it must be the fault of those sex-positive women! All that pressure we create, you know.
*gag*
[EDIT: An article at Salon pans the illogical conclusions of the Washington Post article as well. Go, Salon!]
A blog entry at Feministing reports that the Washington Post reports that women who pursue men and express an interest in sex are helping to cause erectile dysfunction. Quote from the article:
"One can argue that a young woman speaking her mind is a sign of equality. "That's a good thing," says Sawyer, father of four daughters. "But for some guys, it has come at a price. It's turned into ED in men you normally wouldn't think would have ED.""
Never mind that the article doesn't actually produce any concrete evidence for this. It does report guys claiming to have had ED problems...right after a woman expressed interest in them and they ended up in bed! That can't be coincidence! Never mind that if a woman expresses disinterest in you, you're less likely to end up in bed in the first place. The article does report many other possible causes, such as binge drinking (on campus? no!), drug abuse, an environment where everyone is probably just getting more in college than they did 50 years ago (increasing the sample size) and less stigma about reporting ED. But are those the main contributing factors? No, no - it must be the fault of those sex-positive women! All that pressure we create, you know.
*gag*
[EDIT: An article at Salon pans the illogical conclusions of the Washington Post article as well. Go, Salon!]
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You're overreacting.
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* "taking away from males the age-old, erotic power of the chase" gag me with a spoon! Guys buy Viagra at this age not necessarily because they need it, but because they think it'll enhance the game, er... yah. (You've got me talking about penises again, 2h20.)
* Maybe guys 15 years ago didn't talk about ED! I've also understood that first night sex can be pretty awful for guys.
* "An increasing number of students arrive on campus taking antidepressants, some of which reduce libido and sexual function. They consume larger amounts of alcohol at one time than in years past, killing performance. Smoking, lack of exercise and anxiety also may be factors." So... what are you arguing? Stupid author didn't write an outline and is unclear as to what she's arguing. I guess you won't get as many readers if you don't blame it on SOMETHING controversial.
Did you see Slate rip the Post? Worth a read: http://www.slate.com/id/2141138/
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You might try this instead. A friend showed the film back at the mothership; I only saw the last half, and I still want to see the rest. She sounds like a kickass director.
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young women are now as likely as young men to have sex and by countless reports are also as likely to initiate sex, taking away from males *the age-old, erotic power of the chase*.
"I know lots of girls for whom nothing is off limits," says Helen Czapary, a junior at the University of Maryland. "The pressure on the guys is a huge deal."
First part: Ew. Second part: So what? get over yourself? What about the pressure on women for centuries - who had to battle their natural sexual inclinations against the peer pressure that said "good girls don't" against the urgings of a guy they (maybe) had feelings for?
And the guy who is having trouble, and his therapist told him - don't worry, it will be fine when you get into a relationship, only he can't, because whenever he wants to date a girl, she wants to start having sex NOW? Um, he's going about things the wrong way, or meeting all the wrong girls. Not to sound all prudish and stuff - but not all girls wanna screw on the first date.
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Women have always faced pressure from overeager boyfriends, and a tug-of-war between their own personal desires, the desires of their partner, and societal norms. Now, this article is saying that men are now facing the same problem, only with the message "good girls don't" replaced with "real men *do*". I'm therefore rather disturbed by your abrupt dismissal of the problem. If a girl complained that her boyfriend wanted to have sex but she wasn't into it, would you tell her to get over herself? Not all guys want to screw on the first date either, but teenagers entering the dating scene aren't always mature enough to know this, and so they go along with their date because they think that that's just what happens.
Sexual equality may indeed have negative consequences, and pointing those out does not mean that one opposes sexual equality, just as pointing out flaws in the government doesn't mean you're unpatriotic. I don't believe the article is suggesting that women should stop instigating sex and leave it all up to the men again; I do think it's suggesting that young men need to be taught the same lessons that young women have always been taught: that it's okay to say NO, that people will still like you if you don't put out, that if someone is forcing you into sex then that person isn't being good to you, etc. We also need to counter the message that all men are supposed to want sex all the time if they're *real* men. But all this can be done in a supportive, sympathetic way, not by telling them to "get over themselves".
Sorry for the rant, but you pushed a button. ;)
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I sensed a tone of entitlement in the article, and I think that's what I was responding to. Maybe just as simple as "guys shouldn't have to deal with this". And maybe I got a little flippant. That happens to me. I just meant that the guys are complaining about pressure when girls have always had enormous pressure in this area - things are equalizing, and the guys don't like it.
I think what you're naming *is* a huge problem - guys are not *allowed* by our society to admit that they don't want sex, and that leads to a lot of problems. I used to have this discussion at work with teenagers all the time - usually in the context that they didn't understand how a guy could be sexually harassed by a girl. You know, as long as she was hot and everything, what's the problem?
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In other words, he's just not that into her.
This is a problem that folks tend to underestimate - they assume that all guys need is a naked body next to them and they're raring to go. But actually men can lose responsiveness if they don't have a real interest in their partners.
oh, i am SUCH A BIG SEX NERD.
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