wavyarms: (Default)
[personal profile] wavyarms
Just a thought after briefly checking OKCupid tonight:

If you say you "want a good listener" I am probably going to trot the other way. This is precisely because I am a good listener. If you say you ARE a good listener, that is much more appealing!

Date: 2012-08-04 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ltlbird.livejournal.com
Huh, that wouldn't turn me off. I don't think wanting a good listener implies anything about one's own ability to be one. It's interesting to hear from other folks in the online dating search about these things - what criteria each person uses to sort through the profiles and what unexpected things just leave a bad taste.

Date: 2012-08-04 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wavyarms.livejournal.com
Well, two thoughts about this. The first is that I have been in some dating situations - both as brief as one evening and as long as a relationship - where the other person clearly wanted me to just listen to them and was not interested in listening to me. If "being a good listener" is high enough on someone's priority list of what they want in a partner that they mention it on OKCupid, I therefore feel like that person might not be a good listener themselves. "Being a good conversationalist" on the other hand, I read as totally different - I definitely am interested dating people who are looking for good conversationalists.

BUT...the other thing is that really it was this dude's whole profile, and I almost quoted chunks of it on here but then thought that might not be good form. But really, I would love to send you a link b/c it was QUITE something.


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